Cloud Strife (mako_puppet) wrote in project_origins,
Cloud Strife
mako_puppet
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Letter from Dr. Wisley

Good doctor of medical facility really did just want to help.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dearest Miss. T. Lockheart,

If you are reading this, then it is safe to assume that you have come and gone from the Junon Institute for the Mentally Ill. It is also safe to assume that Cloud Strife is now in your care once more. Because you most likely do not have his medical history file, I have sent with you this letter that will detail the problems that we have had with Cloud and the solutions that have come about as a result to his mental instability. I apologize that I could not be there to properly give you advice as to Cloud's care, but this is obviously how it should be.

Almost a year ago, you admitted a one Cloud Strife, male at the age of twenty-one years suffering from a multitude of symptoms. He was violent upon your leaving his side, almost to the point of losing all sense of civilized mannerisms and seemed to lash out purely out of animalistic instinct. We had trouble finding a sedative that would calm his temper for the first two weeks of his arrival and as such, it was deemed appropriate to limit Cloud to solitary confinement as we requested his military file from what was left of ShinRa. Because we had little to no knowledge of his previous history, we later came to realize our mistake of placing him in solitary confinement as it only seemed to incite more violent behaviour.

We managed to find an old sedative muscle relaxant that had been used in the military for overly violent members of the SOLDIER program and the sedative worked on Cloud and kept him calm for a limited amount of time in which we analyzed his symptoms. Cloud Strife was delusional, obsessive-compulsive, manic depressive, anxious and we thought he had a touch of schizophrenia with the claim that he heard the 'Cetra' of the planet and felt 'Jenova' under his skin. His behaviour was often random where he would be violent one moment and hysterically crying the next. He was uncontrolled and his symptoms were remaining the same no matter the medication that we administer to him, and it came to the Medical Boards attention that new medication was required to combat the effects of his high metabolism and advanced bodily make-up from the SOLDIER program.

We cycled through many medications with Cloud and some worked better than others. In psychiatric analysis, he was normally evasive and temperamental, refusing to detail anything about his life before or during the events with General Sephiroth. When pressed about details, he often became violent and had mood swings that forced us to end the sessions. It became clear that Cloud quickly learned that his strength and fighting capabilities could be put to use during his sessions to end them early so that he could avoid questioning altogether. Even in his worst moments of symptoms, we could never deny the intelligence of Cloud for he learned at an alarming rate how to react to any sort of treatment to avoid it.

I will not detail all of the effects of the medications that we placed upon Cloud since their effects were ranged from withdrawal depression all the way to violent temper tantrums that would often lead to bodily harm of himself or others. We had scientists looking for more effective methods of treatment for him under the leading medical professional Dr. Ruthford. Before being incapacitated by Cloud in an attempt to calm him, Dr. Ruthford suggested that a more personal interaction was required since Cloud was falling into a state of constant loneliness and withdrawal. Shortly after the suggest to the collogues on the Medical Board, Dr. Ruthford was removed from the board for medical purposes after making an attempt to contact Cloud on a more personal level.

I took over as the head professional treating Cloud and I saw value in making a bond with Cloud, but he resisted me at every turn and began to develop a severe bitterness to accent his symptoms that were still not getting any better. Despite our best efforts, Cloud wanted nothing to do with us under the claim that all we wanted to do was strap him down and experiment on him like the late Professor Hojo. The history between Cloud Strife and Professor Hojo has remained completely out of our knowledge as SOLDIER refused to send Cloud's file.

Cloud Strife had two particular sore points that he refused to go into any detail about: Professor Hojo and Sephiroth. Though Cloud would mention Sephiroth in a rant of explosive anger, we could gather little to no detail on just what part Sephiroth played in Cloud's behaviour. For me, it appeared to be an important link and attempted to get Cloud to speak openly about anything to do with Sephiroth aside from the generalized jargon that any man in the SOLDIER program would know, and he would become temperamental when pressed about the events of Sephiroth's part in the near destruction of the world. I did however managed to access that there were a lot of unspoken feelings about Sephiroth, and it seemed to bother Cloud that he could not actually hate Sephiroth for the events that took place a year earlier. I still have little to no details about his associations with Sephiroth, but I believe that Sephiroth played an important role in 'shattering' Cloud, as he called it. The part played, I can only speculate.

Having not being able to get to the root of the problem and Cloud's quickly diminishing weight, I became worried about his physical health. I was not so much concerned with the face that Cloud was losing weight as force feeding and IV drips could be administered to manage him, but I was concerned that despite his bodies deteriorating state, Cloud still maintained a near constant activity level. He showed no symptoms of fatigue or the need to increase his request for food. I encouraged him to rest as much as possible, but he had developed a severe case of insomnia and signs of paranoia. When I asked him if he was hungry, Cloud would often refuse to answer or state that he was fine with the food that he had been given. He remained just as strong, fast, and dangerous as when he was as full weight, but I worried that he would one day simply drop.

I did, at one point, order him force fed more nutrients in hopes of him regaining some weight back, but Cloud completely resisted treatments. I apologize for this, but I used you Miss. Lockheart as encouragement for him to eat. In a vain attempt to encourage him to supplement his diet more - since he often only ate a certain portion before refusing any more into his mouth - I explained that he needed to regain weight in order for you to come and see him again. By this point, Cloud was 120 lbs and I feared that he would succumb to malnutrition and starvation since his body seemed to show some signs that it was starting to fail as he had urinary infections and convulsions. I apologize for using your name in such a manner, but he did begin to eat again after that day. He ate whatever we would give him - within limitations as his stomach could only handle so much.

It was that point that I came to realize that he would improve with the mention of friends, more specifically, you. He responded to treatment more readily at the prospect that you would be coming to see him. That was three months ago, and I approached the Medical Board with a proposal to allow you visitation rights to allow Cloud to interact with you; however, my proposal was rejected. As such, I did not feel it was fair to illusion Cloud that you would come for him, and at that point, he took a severe turn for the worst.

His body rejected the medication that had been working, and he slipped into a state of completely chaotic violence where he felt the need to escape at every opportunity. He somehow managed to slip from his room and race through the halls at night, and his sting of causing bodily harm to others increased dramatically. I attempted to plead with the Board that you were a requirement in Cloud's health, but they felt Cloud was much too dangerous to allow a civilian access. This string of violence continued for nearly two months where Cloud made his ultimate decent into 'madness' and there was no medication that would work on him and his body weight declined again. He was showing signs of some of the behaviour that Sephiroth had revealed and it was thought that Cloud was taking a turn for the same path.

A month ago, we came up with the medication alpha-6 that was composed of a key element, mako. Because Cloud's body had been saturated with mako, it was seen as a potential cure for his symptoms. It had many sedatives combined and a neurotransmitter repressor since Cloud's mind was overly active in neural firing. This medication had a profound effect on Cloud and continues to keep his condition stabilized. Though he did not gain any more weight, he didn't lose anymore either. His condition was nearly completely nullified and it became clear that Cloud could once again think clearly. However, alpha-6 only lasted until after lunch where we found that the co-represent beta-6 allowed him to continue throughout the entire day and even stabilized his sleeping patterns.

This is the drug that I have sent with you. This amount will last approximately three months before more will be required, but with Cloud no longer in the medical institute, I doubt that anyone will make it. However, I will be able to get you more of it, if required. If his symptoms improve quickly or even over time, I suggest that you slowly reduce the dosage of both drugs 1cc at a time. Cloud is extremely sensitive about the concentration of medication, and too much of a reduction could cause more harm than good for him. If he does improve, I would only reduce the amount one week at a time and see how he reacts to it and up or drop it again accordingly for the week.

Common symptoms that I have noted Cloud shows were, most recognizably, a lack of feeling both emotionally and even physically. While all bodily functions are still present in his mind, he has a particular problem with pain reception, which should be watched carefully. He does seem to recognize when something should cause of hurt reaction, but I worry that he may still injure himself without realizing it completely. He may or may not consider the severity of wounds either, but this has yet to be tested completely. Please keep an eye on him for this most of all.

I have found that Cloud has become quite curious, almost in the manner that a child might. He seems to view the world and more common things such as exploring random objects in a manner of someone who has not learned or forgotten just what something is. This curiosity and need to explore everything around him as lead to some problems in maintaining a constant attention span on one specific task, and he will often switch his focus before fully completing another. While curious, he does learn extremely quickly these things that he has 'forgotten' and usually only needs to explore something once to understand it and lose interest in it afterwards. I am sure that he has not really forgotten how a toaster works or what a book looks like, but he seems to have willingly repressed the knowledge in order to cope with being denied such things while at the Institute. Please, don't be alarmed if he suddenly wishes to explore things, but I hasten to add that he has been found to even take more complex objects apart such as our refrigerator at one point. He means no harm, I should think, but is merely allowing himself to relearn. It appears his medication allows him to exploit his own curiosity.

Another quirk that I should mention is that Cloud is receptive to women. As far as I can tell, if he feels comfortable with the presence of a woman, he will complete any action asked of him. I believe this is an twisted off-shoot of his days in the military under strict authority, but has switched over to something more maternal in instinct. Either way, Cloud is extremely receptive to orders given by those of the female gender and horribly unreceptive to the orders of males, often refuses to acknowledge the order from a male at all. However, I tested the limits of this strange quirk and found it to be possibly limitless since Cloud did whatever he ask ordered to do under one of the nurses that he appeared to have fondness for. When she asked for him to hand her an object, he would without question. When she asked from him to strip, he would completely without asking questions. When ordered to sit completely still when medication was administered and watch, he would, though it seemed to make him uncomfortable afterwards (we only asked this of him once when it was clear he was bothered by it).

Cloud will have an increase in hair length that seems to be most active when he sleeps, if he sleeps. His hair seems to grow at random intervals with no set length, to the point where we required his head shaved every day. His finger and toe nails are much the same and grow at an increased rate. Where most patients could go two or more weeks, Cloud required cutting every weekend or risks him breaking them, chewing them, or attacking with them.

One of his most predominant features is an increase in the glow associated with his eyes. While we are not sure if this affects his ability to see, it is a characteristic that is easily explained by the mako concentration contained in Cloud's medication. As a side note, I have found that the glow from his eyes sometimes decreases or increases in response to where a strong emotion should be such as anger, confusion, shame, happiness and even sometimes depression. While there is no reason so suspect that anything is wrong with the glow of his eyes, I suggest you keep a look out on how he handles objects since it very well might affect his vision.

The medication beta-6 also has an added side effect that Cloud sometimes will act out of purely instinctual manners, and I don't believe he is mentally aware of the reactions until they occur. His mind doesn't always comprehend his actions, but his body does seem to know how to react. From a purely scientific state, I can only say that Cloud is still a sexually active male, but only in a physical sense. I could be wrong on this, but he sometimes reacts out of a purely instinctual need to procreate, which... I am honestly not sure if it is a side-effect or an enhancement of some deep down need of his. He has reacted to a few nurses, female AND male, in a manner that can only be described as interested in procreation. However, this only occurs under the effects of beta-6 and only when he is awake, but it never occurred enough to require further study. I just thought that it would be good warn you in case he does try something, though I have yet to see him actually show the ability to go through with the actions.

Another side-effect is that the night sleep for Cloud is important, even if it is only two-four hours of sleep. He must sleep completely for some time in the night, or I have found that his symptoms return completely as his medication wears off. His mind is chaotically active at that point and he must sleep through it for some time, or I have found that he regresses to different levels depending on the disturbance. He has regressed at some times to the point of severe self-mutilation, explosive rages were he does not recognize anything, or his mind shuts down completely for a few days. This is just a precaution since when Cloud sleeps, he sleeps quite heavily for the time that he is in this state of vulnerability. He will not awaken even when physically disturbed and moved to another room and allowed to fall on the floor. Still, beta-6 allows for an on rush of feeling and chaos into his mind for that time of sleep, but I don't think you will have a problem with it if you are sleeping as well. I doubt he will awaken to disturbances in the night.

Now that Cloud is in your care and if he feels comfortable, I encourage you to be affectionate with him. He responds well to affection and encouragement in regards to his explorations. He may appear childish in the first couple of weeks as he allows himself to relearn things, but he is still an adult in all other senses. I also encourage you to get as much food as he will eat in a day into him and as much sleep as he will allow himself. If he responds well, I think that he will gain back weight and possibly respond better to his medication. Interacting with him on an level where he is presented as an equal is extremely important to his recovery, and he grows unstable when talked down to or insulted, even by other patients who have no awareness of it. He is stable, but I feel that it takes very little to off-set him, especially if he is in an environment that he does not know well.

You will know what he needs emotionally better than we ever will. His experiences have affected him in an adverse manner, but what triggered the sudden collapse could have been a number of things but the build up was probably compounded. I hope that he takes this change in lifestyle and care to be more to his liking and improves under your care.

If anything goes wrong or you require anything of me, please, call my home number and my wife, Sarah, will take a message that I will get back to you as soon as I can. For medication, please also leave a message with my wife. She will not question you and simply deliver the message.

I hope that things go well for you, Miss. Lockheart, and I hope for a recovery for Cloud Strife.

Sincerely yours,
Dr. Daniel R. Wisley
Psychologist of the Medical Board of Junon
Home # - 453 6345 745
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